The Parenting Manual

Every parenting manual should have an "In Case of Emergency, Break Glass" component. In that glass should be a bottle of Whiskey and a one way ticket to Fiji. Wait, they don't make manuals? Crap...

Say What?

"I really hope you don't go into labor in the middle of the night"

"Yeah, because you were really on your A game last time around"

Soccer Mom

"So Kiburz, you ready to be a soccer mom now?"

"Ah, Lucas, I'm a hockey mom, NOT a soccer mom!"

That a girl!

Dire Consequences

"No, Harrison, you don't need another chocolate chip cookie"

"*Whispers* Here you go, just a little bite"

"Honey, I said NO"

"He's not, daddy's having a cookie"

"That's why he has chocolate all over his face? You can't start undermining me already, you start now, next thing you know he has a pregnant 15 year old girlfriend"

"Wait, I gave him a bite of a cookie and now he has a pregnant girlfriend? H, stay away from cookies...and girls"

A Sure Sign of Trouble

"So when do you want to have our next baby"

"Uh, why don't we get through this whole teething thing first, then we can talk about it...in like 16 months"

"But we make such cute babies"

"We made A cute baby, what if he got all the good genes? The next one is screwed"

Quotes

I won't name names but I received this in an email after posting pictures of Harrison:

"Not because I'm his favorite aunt or anything, but I think he's a really beautiful baby."

On our way to do our Christmas Shopping:

Liz: "This is like a date" Me: "I hardly call going to the grocery/Target a date" Liz: Considering our social life the last 5 months I would call this a date!"